Do you have a mind that needs to know the ‘why’ of things?

Do you have an active mind? Like, you’re aware of limiting patterns in your life—procrastination, people-pleasing, perfectionism—and you want to change, evolve, and grow. But first, for some reason, you need to know why you’re that way and where did these patterns come from?

(They’re like computer programs, running all the time. But, who installed them? What experiences made you this way?)

For you, it’s not random. For you, something would change if you could just understand yourself more.

Of course, people have told you that ‘you think too much’ or that you over-analyze everything. But, you don’t feel that way about yourself. For you, it’s deeply important to understand and explore these things.

But, people you care about keep telling you to relax or get over it or ‘stop making such a big deal about everything.’  So, overtime, you’ve learned to hide this part of yourself or minimize the depth that you truly feel. You feel things deeply.  You want more from this life.

You’ve already tried to just get past it and move on. But now, more and more, it feels like you’re forced to fake it. Or worse, you feel numb.

Your mind naturally scans the past to try to find the source of why you are the way you are.  You can feel it deep down: There is a reason for it.

You notice your negative self-talk and immediately wonder, “Why? Where did it come from?”

You put the needs of others before your own for the millionth time and instinctively wonder, “Why? What is driving that behavior?”

Or, you want to make a change but can’t—because you don’t feel prepared yet. But, why? Other people seem to do it. Why not me? You ask. What programs are running in the background of my mind that prevent me from just trusting life and taking action?

Whatever it is, you have a mind that needs to know the ‘why’.  You are a root-cause kind of person.

You might also feel like you’re different from those around you and when you hear someone say, “Yeah, everyone feels like that.” But, you know that isn’t fully true.

You are different from other people, but you can’t quite put your finger on exactly how or why.

Maybe people have told you that you’re “too sensitive” or “too much”, when in reality you walk through the world feeling like maybe you’re not enough.

If you can relate to this, there’s some good news: There are, in fact, answers to your questions. There IS a way out of this. And, I have spent the last ten years refining an approach that actually works.

As a coach, I don’t give you the answers. Instead, I help you find them for yourself. I help people get to the core of things. Because, for some minds, knowing is as important as doing. It’s not enough to just notice it. Sometimes, we just need to know why.

Together, we explore:

-        Your true wants and needs as a human

-        Your past programming and family system

-        How you relate to time, productivity, pressure, order, and routine

-        Your unique brand of awareness

-        What is your actual learning style

-        How you best recharge your energy

-        Your true values and what motivates you these days

-        How mindfulness does and does not work for you

-        The role that the past plays in your life today

-        Your unique style of working, resting, and playing

-        How to communicate your desires to others

-        What’s the best way for you to set boundaries

-        How you best connect with others

-        What’s the best way for you, specifically, to organize your life and take action

You are the elephant

Imagine four people are in a completely dark room with an elephant. And let’s pretend that they have no clue what an elephant is. 

One of them touches the ear and says, “An elephant is like paper.” Another, pressing against the belly, says, “An elephant is like a wall.” The third wraps their arms around a leg, “An elephant is like the trunk of a tree.” And the final person holds onto the tail and says, “You’re all wrong, an elephant is like a rope.”

They’re all right and they’re all wrong. All at the same time. However, one of them in the room does know the true shape of an elephant. Do you know which one?

The answer: The elephant.

The elephant effortlessly knows its exact shape because—it is it. And it can experience every part of itself inside and outside. It knows all the different shapes it’s been throughout its life. 

And, that’s what we are. We are the elephant.  Others may know parts of us. Friends, family, colleagues, a partner, a counselor, a boss may say: I know you—you’re a hard worker, an introvert, an artist, a jerk, a great lover, a goofball, an athlete, a husband, a daughter, an uncle, a loner. They may say: I know you—you’re selfless, intelligent, honest, happy, unpredictable, generous, confident.

No matter how well they know us—they’re still only holding the tail, or the ear, or the belly. No one has access to ALL of you.

Except, perhaps, one person: You.

You’ve been there for every moment of your life—the good, the bad, the ugly. And, because of that: You are the expert on you. And you are the only expert on you. You: complete with intellect, humor, emotion, spirit, nuance, depth—totally complete, buzzing with life and desire and memory and belief and contradiction—multidimensional, always complex ( and sometimes complicated).

But wait, if we are the “experts” on ourselves, why can we feel so lost? So broken? So disconnected from our truth and purpose? A big reason is, frankly: other people. This includes the people behind billion dollar marketing campaigns. Even when they mean well, it can get confusing being told who we are, who we should be, and then trying to live up to that.

As a coach, I am not here to tell you who you are. My role is to help you make contact with the real you. To support you in your own discovery, inquiry, and reclamation. I am here to support you in noticing the conditioning and programming that no longer works for you (and maybe never did). To assist you in making what is unconscious conscious. And to help you take action, find the next step, and to guide you in giving yourself full permission to go for it. Full send. Unapologetic. Authentic. Real.